BANK-IN-CRISIS
Five men left Berner’s street on Wednesday evening for a date with destiny but five Giants returned. Embarking on a new season after last season’s middling performance, this was The Bank FC reinvigorated, renewed and redeemed. It’s difficult to fully express the challenge facing the Boys from the Bank stuff. Having lost their goalkeeper due to visa difficulties, the squad was also decimated by a series of unfortunate incidents. First, a player was suspended pending club enquiries after alleged substance abuse. The club has refused to disclose names so far, but given that the drug of choice appears to involve toner ink and magic markers, rumours abound that the player has Print Room ties. Secondly, there was the embarrassing incident in the pre-season Malaga holiday trip where Christian McIlveen & Jonny Briggs were shown in leaked photos by the Sunday tabloids engaging in acts that the Marquis de Sade would be ashamed of. Finally, captain Ryan Shaw caught a sickening bout of food poisoning on the way to the ground, preventing his inclusion. Rumours that the McDonald's chef was a rival team supporter refuse to go away and Shaw was unavailable for comment due to his incapacitated state. The club doctor has imposed a quarantine around the men's toilets for the foreseeable future.
So with a backdrop of a rather improbable series of events, The Bank FC – comprising McCullough (c), Byrne, Jowitt, Love & Slater - headed to Mile End stadium in a bid to show that they would not be affected. However, things started badly for Bankana Bankana, as an error of Rob Green proportions from impromptu goalkeeper Byrne left the team trailing 1-0 within a couple of minutes of kick off. Things didn’t improve as a fine finish from the same scorer for Southwark Lions made it 2-0 shortly before half-time.
And then... Out of nowhere the mood changed. In the face of certain defeat, with no-one to turn to but each other, these five tired men kept their heads and kept their spirit in the face of overwhelming pressure. The Bank forced their way gradually back into the game. Before long, the tide began to turn. First – a lovely goal from McCullough. The team seemed to visibly grow in stature, with McCullough almost reaching 5ft. The sense of a turning tide - and the Bank were back in it – 2-2, McCullough with his second. But these weary legs, these tired bodies continued to press forward. Wave after wave followed as a veritable Bank tsunami hit the Southwark Lions defence and with just a minute left on the clock, McCullough finished a fine hat-trick. The Lions huffed and puffed, trying desperately to get a shot away - just one shot, yet still Bank bodies were thrown on the line for the cause. The Bank prevailed. Final score: The Bank 3 Southwark Lions 2. A winning start to the season.
No time to bask in victory though, as within a couple of minutes, Game 2 had kicked off. Facing fresh legs and an expensively assembled team – AS Woodford, The Bank looked exhausted. With McCullough replacing Byrne in goal for the first half, the team looked surprisingly comfortable despite their previous exertions - Byrne & Jowitt defending with every inch of their being; oak trees at the back, immovable. Love, marauding around the pitch and never letting the opposition rest; a rottweiler, a behemoth. Slater, dangerous, fleet-footed, a scorpion with deadly accuracy waiting for his chance to strike.
Then, crisis. Chris Love was challenged recklessly and as a nation held its breath, lay motionless on the floor for a moment. With the referee urging the player to either leave the pitch or play on, Love bravely decided that he wouldn’t leave the lads. He replaced McCullough in goal and despite limited mobility due to his ankle injury, performed heroics on a number of occasions. With the opposition streaming forward and sensing blood, The Bank attacked like a wounded animal striking back with venomous barbs. Against all odds The Bank were in front.
However, just as they looked settled, AS Woodford managed to score, with a shot Love could simply do nothing about. As The Bank raised their game, the opposition managed to fend of challenges and from a somewhat lucky bounce, scored from a tight angle.
2-1 down, with an injured keeper, and absolutely exhausted, it is safe to say that most teams would have seen no way back. But not these boys, With Herculean effort, they soon showed their mettle. This was not over. And the reward came – a second from McCullough! A draw snatched from a seemingly inevitable defeat. And with just five minutes left, the lads knew they’d have to continue to pressure AS Woodford, playing through the pain barrier. And so it arrived - the moment Bankana truly deserved. A fine ball through to Slater and with a little over a minute left, under unimaginable pressure, he coolly slipped the ball past the encroaching keeper. 3-2 up with seconds left. Just seconds, but time enough for the injured Chris Love to throw himself across the face of goal, saving a ball destined for the bottom corner and breaking the hearts of the opposition. Five men, Two Victories. A winning start. The Bank FC are joint top of the league and have set the standard for all others to reach.
Well done indeed.
© David Byrne, Bank Reporter, 2010
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